Dasavatharam Review – MultiMillion Dollar Breathtakingly Boring Blunder

06/15/2008:

Im just back from watching ‘Dasavatharam’ at Totem Lake Cinemas, SEATTLE. I wonder what to write about it. After a rushing 2.5 hr Journey at 85 mph, I wondered whether the movie would be worth it.
Its absoultely a 3 hour 70 crore – $16 million dollar blunder. I guess they could have invested this money in a better way. Once again(after Mumbai express), Kamal fails to attract Tamil audiences with his own script. Dasavatharam was definitely not a masterpiece. It is a very mediocre work with a poor story, bad makeup for some characters,par music and inadequate character development for some roles. Why was all the hype, tension, cases, expectations and unnecessary expenses wasted on this average film. ஏன்…ஏன்..ஏன்டா?…ஏன் இந்த விளம்பரம்?
Meanwhile, I agree with you that Dasavatharam is a lot better than other trash like குருவி(கெட்ட கனவா நெனைச்சு மறக்கிறேன்), அரசாங்கம், பாண்டி etc. But our expectation from movies featuring Kamal Haasan & Rajinikanth is also much higher. தலைகள் படம், தறுதலை மாதிரி இருக்கக்கூடாது!
சரி..இந்த படத்தை பத்தி என்னத்த சொல்ல?? Opening..லாம் சரி! கதை Finishing..சரி இல்லையேப்பா! Where can I start. The opening was really good and slowly the few scenes showed the rush of movie of what was going to come.
There were whistles in the air when உலகநாயகன் was shown on screen and it felt like INDIA for a minute. But after that none in the theatre uttered a word other than a few laughs here and there.
அப்புறம், நம்ம ஊரு “Chennai Airport” ஐ காண்பிச்சப்ப செம sound Theatre..ல!! அடிச்சுக்க முடியாது போ, நம்ம ஊரை!) ராமானுஜ தாசன் பத்து பேரை அடிச்சு துவைச்சு, சிங்கம் போல நிக்கும் போது, நாம Seat நுனியிலே நிமிர்ந்து உட்கார Try பண்ணினா- உடனே ஒரு song..போட்டு நம்பியை கடலுக்குள்ளே கவுத்திட்டானுங்க! கூடவே, நம்மளையும் கவுத்திட்டானுங்க..னு Interval…க்கு அப்புறம்தான் புரிஞ்சுச்சு!
Usually we get to see a lot of hollywood movie previews before any show and I was expecting a movie that equals in technology and CG from dasavatharam because of its hollywood budget. But we felt so bad in the end that we felt like we were all let down by our favorite star.
Since Kamal Haasan also takes credit for the story, screenplay and dialogs in Dasavatharam, it’s only right that the major discredit for the movie should also accrue to that மொக்கை comedies. தாங்க முடியலைடா சாமி! Dailogs பணால் except a few!
When he says,” கடவுள் இல்லைன்னு யாரு சொன்னா? இருந்தா நல்லா இருக்கும்..னு தான் சொல்றேன்!” A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FROM AUDIENCE! That summed up the film!
STORY…:
The overall story – with the distracting side stories – is a jumbled mess.
Much of the movie centers around the efforts of a U.S.-based scientist Govind Ramasamy (Kamal Haasan’s primary role in the movie) desperately trying to safeguard a deadly germ vial (virus) and prevent it from falling into the hands of a really nasty element called Christian Fletcher (Kamal Haasan again- கொடுமைக்கார ஆளு – பார்க்கிற ஆளை எல்லாம் போட்டு தள்றான்).
The fight to grab the deadly vial that starts in the U.S. ultimately ends in India after many boring detours.
(நாராயணா, இந்த VIAL(கொசு) தொல்லை தாங்க முடியலைடா)
One of the few saving graces of Dasavatharam was Asin’s performance but still more மொக்கை when she tells ‘நாராயணா’. In her role as Andal, a conservative Brahmin girl from the temple town of Chidambaram as well as in an earlier brief appearance as Kothai, wife of a 12th century அய்யங்கார் Rangaraja Nambi (Kamal Haasan). Even her serious dialogues received laughs in the Theatre.
Jayapradha appears in few scenes and does well in them. (நீங்க ஏன் அம்மா, அண்ணி வேஷங்களுக்கு try பண்ணக்கூடாது, Aunty??) No role for Rekha, K.R.Vijaya, Nagesh and others.
Then, Mallika Sherawat – நீங்க Dr.Sethu..வை சொர்க்கத்துக்கு கூட்டிட்டு போறதை பார்த்து பல பேருக்கு தூக்கம் போச்சு! மறுபடியும், எப்ப america வந்து எல்லாரையும் கூட்டிட்டு போக போறீங்க??! Your pole dance number in Dasavatharam is one of the crudest and most disgusting dances we’ve had the misfortune to ever see in a long life. கேவலமான ரசனைடா. சில்க் ஸ்மிதா கூட நல்லா ஆடுவா!. அப்பபப்பா, Family..யோட பார்க்ககூடாத Dance!Gauthami, நீங்க தான் Costume டிசைன்..ஆமே! ஏன் இப்படி??!! சரி விடுங்க, மர்மயோகி Heroine..க்காவது நல்ல dress தைச்சு கொடுங்க,Please!! நீங்கதான் அதுக்கு HEROINE…ஆ? கமலுக்கு நிஜத்துல நீங்கதானே, அதான் கேட்டேன்!
Technically the film is far superior to any other Tamil movie in some scenes, particularly in the tsunami climax. The special effects in the last 15 minutes simply rocks. Also the body language of Japanese Kamal is simply excellent in Fight scenes.

குண்டு துளைச்சு Avtaar singh..க்கு Cancer போய்டுச்சு Doctor சொல்றப்ப(வழக்கம் போல, miracle தான்), அமெரிக்கா…வே சிரிச்சதுடா டேய்! அப்ப எல்லா Cancer patient..ஐயும் kashmir border..ல நிப்பாட்டிடலாம்! Good Idea! இதுக்கு எதுக்கு, Lance Armstrong! LIVE STRONG..லாம்! இதுதான் HEIGHT OF CRAZINESS!

The Good
Kamal’s Acting – Kamal Haasan in ten roles as Rangaraja Nambi, Govindarajan Ramaswamy, Balram Naidu, Christian Fletcher, Krishnaveni Paatti, Shinghen Narahasi, Avtaar Singh, Vincent Poovaraagan, George Bush, Kalifullah Mukhtaar(The last five were actually was pretty boring and was used to reach the Magic number 10).
The COMPUTER GRAPHICS – Almost 70% of this movie is Computer Generated to sync two characters portrayed by the Kamal on one screen
The Bad
A total mess of a story is compounded by a mostly so-so performance by Kamal Haasan (except in some roles like the Indian intelligence officer Balram Naidu, Paatti and Rangaraja Nambi(MASSIVE BODY) and Fletcher(Gravity defying))
MAKE UP
Finally this is A Mixed Bag. I really appreciate the fact that Kamal Hassan had taken pains in getting into 10 different characters but neither the make up was done well nor the characters were well plotted.
As he dons 10 roles in the movie, 5 out 10 looks like a MAKE UP DISASTER. It was a big big blunder..even you would say, many in India could have dont a better job for you Kamal Sir- why hire an Idiot to do it? Even the most low buget movie ever produced in India will have a better make up man from the one that was hired to do in this movie. It was Utterly fake for Many. That one mistake from the great actor has cost him the whole movie.
Again, THE COMPUTER GRAPHICS
Kamal Ji you just offered your lovely movie in a platter to a bunch of CG Monkeys who have absolutely no idea what CG is, they have clearly proved their worth by Creatively turning your movie to Absolute Crap. When 40% of your movie is ruined by these guys you dont have to worry any further on where the movie will go next –Trash.
THE DIRECTOR
Why would a world actor appoint a brilliant mind like Mr.K.S. Ravikumar to direct his wonderful movie?
Ans:
So that the whole world comes to know that Mr.K.S.Ravikumar has absolutely no idea how to make a movie. Why would you have to spend $16 million dollars to prove that(to tell Rajini for trashing Jakkubhai). This idiot has NO ROLE in this except for the Ulaganayagane.. song in which he dances like Enrique(:-( ?? இனிமே உன்னை கோடம்பாக்கம் பக்கம் பார்த்தேன், உன்னை ஓட ஓட வெட்டுவேன்..டா!). Who can blame the all perfect Kamal. Its like when a perfect world is filled with imperfect humans. The imperfect humans being the camera man, cg director, director, makeup artist.
The Camera Man
Ravivarma! நல்லாத்தானே போய்ட்டு இருந்தே…?! ஏன் இப்படி?? All you did was drag the camera through out every set of the movie with a Crane. OMiGod, everything was Top Angle like Spiderman video game; and shakes even inside a house. அது சரி ரவிவர்மா! எல்லாத்துக்கும் TOP ANGLE வச்சே சரி! அது என்ன, mallika sherawat வந்தா மட்டும், ஒரு மார்க்கமா Shot எடுக்கிறே? தப்புடா ராஜா! Basically the lighting was so bad. Tamil Serial..ல கூட நல்ல lighting, clarity இருக்கும்! I guess he did not use a Movie camera at all for this movie because i never saw a scene in the movie that was Film like.
THE MUSIC
Songs were fitting enough to the movies and the background score was good. But, EOD it felt nothing like a big budget movie. There was not much enthusiasm in the audience for O..O..Sanam – the only Josh song of the movie(with Avtaar singh).
THE PRODUCER
உங்க Budget…ல துண்டு விழுந்தா நீங்க தப்பிச்சு இருக்கலாம். ஆனா, இது உங்க தலையில அல்லவா துண்டு விழுந்துடுச்சு!
Im really sorry about your loss but you have to move on. Every one makes mistake but you made three.
1) Producing Kamal movie.(பெரிய தப்பு). 2) Bringing Jackie chan for song release(ரொம்ப தப்பு). 3) Investing more than 5 மில்லியன்(தப்பு..தப்பு..தப்பு.. கன்னத்துல போட்டுக்கோ).
LONG VERDICT(இது தான்டா என் தீர்ப்பு):
If a crappy fiasco like Dasavatharam is all that we can expect from Kamal Haasan after forking out $16.25 for a ticket, we wish we watch only RAJINI movies in Theatre from now(Mayuri Aunty, “குசேலன்” படத்தை நீங்க தான் Release பண்ணனும்.பண்ணுங்க!). அதான் சொல்லிட்டோம்..ல, இனிமே தலைவர் படம் மட்டும்..தான், Theatre..ல!!(இன்னொரு BABA..வுக்கோ ஆளவந்தானுக்கோ தாங்காதுடா, இந்த உடம்பு!)
Finally if you are a die hard fan of Kamal you can watch this film once without hating him. But dont try watching it again.
Watch this movie to see Kamal in 10 different avatars. But is it really enough to make a fan to watch a film? This is a big question that stands before Kamal fans those known as the lovers of good movies like sensational மகாநதி or குருதிப்புனல்! Is this an Entertainer? Certainly Not!
கமல்..ன்னால தூக்கம் போச்சு! அழுதீங்க..னுலாம் build-up கொடுக்கிறவன்..லாம் ஓடி போயிரு! தேடி வந்து செருப்பால அடிப்பேன்!
Kamalji, we expected a lot from you! Hard luck! இதுக்கு நான் கொடுக்கிற STAR, ஒன்றரை!
(ஒண்ணேகால் ரூபா பெறாத படத்துக்கு இதுவே ரொம்ப OVER!!)

Tail Piece:FLASH NEWS: $4,632,719 Record Box office collection in U.S for south indian movie. Huge reception from the people in U.S
அட கொடுமையே! நம்மளை மாதிரி ஊரே போய் பார்த்ததோட result இது – $4,632,719! DO NOT DO THIS..ங்கிறதுக்காக தான் இந்த review! கொடுத்த காசுக்கு வஞ்சனை வைக்கக்கூடாதுன்னு விசில் அடிச்சா, இதுக்கு “வரவேற்பு”னு meaning..ஆ? மொத்த தியேட்டரே சிரிச்சது இந்த கருமத்தை பார்த்து! மனசாட்சி உள்ள யாரும், ரெண்டாவது தடவை பார்க்க மாட்டான்! OPENING…லாம் சரி! Finishing பார்ப்போம்!

But Still, KAMAL is MY STRONGEST CANDIDATE FOR THIS YEAR’S ACADEMY AWARD!

After watching the movie and writing this review, now Dasavatharam team is coming up with the concept in the movie.IT IS TOO LATE!! I don’t want it in Pressmeet! I WANTED IT IN the MOVIE in a way every child understands! I Want Entertainment..Everyone should understand, I don’t mean MASALA movies but a real kicker Flick!

Kuruvi – Movie Review…. After Huge public request

Hhhmmm…… At last moved it to my Blog. Too late anyway, Kuruvi has done enough damage to People!!

BEING A HARDCORE DIEHARD VIJAY FAN, I HIGHLY REGRET to write such a NO NONSENSE NON-RAVE REVIEW, as I get it 100% right.
 
If entertainment is what a person seeks when going for a movie, Kuruvi must be the last (even that’s too much) to think on the person’s mind.

Read on,

Dharani has provided movies which were accepted by one and all in Dil, Dhool and Ghillie with every movie beating its previous BO record. With a hope that this trend will continue I watched Kuruvi On Wednesday May 7th amidst poor movie reviews from 360° but with lower expectations (Thanks to Reviews).

Manivannan (V’s dad) is held hostage in a diamond field by the baddies for they feel he might reach out to the government. Vijay who believes his dad has gone searching for cover is left with clearing the debts of his father. Some research into the money people owe to his dad, Vijay finds Suman, presently in Malaysia, Guilty. With an loan of 50L to pay, meets a bhai who asks him to become a kuruvi who can go to Malay to get Bhai’s job done and settle personal scores. Suman described as a deadly man by a commoner in Malay tries to act like 1 but fails Miserably.

Vijay finds out Suman is in possession of Rs. 6 Cr diamond plans to steal it on new years eve in a Physics defying act places a ‘karkandu’ which looks similar to the diamond in shape and size (None know how he got those details within few seconds) in the box that carried the Diamond.

En Route to Chennai, Vijay calls up Suman and describes the previous nights Event. Meanwhile Trisha who falls in love with High flying Vijay decides to track him down to Chennai. Suman prevented from boarding the flight (Suman unaware of bleeding due to blade cut– Good Joke) then reaches Chennai, dares vijay get hold of the diamond and informs vijay that Manivannan is held Hostage. Vijay Flexes his Triceps and decides to save his dad and bring the baddies down!…

With a very weak story line and weakest Screenplay Dharani has tried to Provide a movie that has every thing a usual Rajini movie will have – COMEDY, Sentiment, Action. Unfortunately he has failed in all three departments and KURUVI FAILED FLYING! But, a Good film to mock in LOLLUSABHA after Pokkiri!!
 
To discuss on the major contributors -

1. Vijay: If there is one actor who can keep providing Horrible movies and yet be cajoled by his fans, it has to Vijay. From Tamizhan To Kuruvi, only Ghillie was the saving grace. If one thought ATM was probably his worst, plz wait, don’t Jump into conclusions, watch Kuruvi.

The thrills provided by Vijay in the movie will make Micheal Schumacher, Antonio Banderes& Toby (Spiderman) head to the Himalayas. Be it driving an Garage car in a race, a car in which the Accel paddle give way mid race and Vijay snatches the string holds it by this teeth (uses Gopal palpodi) to win the race, Or Jumping from tall Buildings effortlessly – in fact holding Trisha & Dressed up a Zorro, or Jumping over 500 Ft in a flat trajectory on to a train platform or (Sorry, the list goes on) Surviving a 300 feet fall in an enclosed structure to ground zero and the next second he is under water (Didn’t Know that water is available @ 2 feet below ground zero) . Physics has been challenged by Vijay here. Gravity does not exist!
 
1000000 Bullet shots but NONE hits Vijay!! Heyy, what’s going on??….. Oh..Man! Give Me a Break ya!!!!

Vijay’s Intro.. Best Suited… Comes out of a Drain as clean as a whistle and the pure water that comes off the drain(??!!) elevates Vijay close to u! L L
Why is the Intro song too late????!! GOSH!!!!

Vijay Looks Very Skinny in the movie, probably influenced by his peers, Dresses Horribly(as usual) and acts even worse(??!!).
2. Trisha – probably the second HOTTEST South Indian actress( 9Tara- I’m in for you) currently, is wasted. She falls in Love with a person who she sees defying the laws of physics. She Spots him in Malaysia and hunts him down to chennai Just to land up in trouble. If people claim she was in for the glamour factor, think again! she can hardly be spotted outside the songs.

3. Songs – The only + of the movie. All the SONGS sound good but looks Horrible on screen thanks to the poor choreography( Exception – one movement).

4. Action – Tooo toooooo long , too boring and HIGHLY unacceptable. OOPS, NEWTON IN TROUBLE!! Super Good Theme music…But, only bits and pieces during fights.

5. Vivek, After series of huge comedy FLOPS, It’s a well tried comeback, still not the best. Double meaning, as usual. Instead, Vadivelu would have been much better, I feel!
 
6. Sentiments/Characters: Small boy, Blind Girl, Big Bull like Quarry supervisor, heroine engagement….(Same oldest wine-in-a-brand new-bottle)… – Who wants these ********** Nonsenses???
 
I am still not sure why the title Kuruvi was chosen (but still attractive name!!). There is only 1 scene where the concept of Kuruvi (a smuggler/transporter of goods between countries) is addressed.
Suman who probably won our hearts with his solid performance in Sivaji, for a change proves how bad he can act!.  SUMAN – 0 % DAEMON!
Ashish, Please choose a better role –> Konda Reddy is a Toyed Teddy!
 
Finally to Mr.Udhayanidhi(the producer),
 
Must be your Overconfidence on the Director, who LET ALL DOWN.

Be happy as the movie charts TOP in Box office.
Leave Box-Office which you’ll win…..But, on entertainment Factor, Wish you hard luck. I expect the best movie from you next time with another Top Star (Vishal, may be).
 
In Fact, To All in the Movie (incl. Producer),
COME BACK STRONG next time!!
 
Kuruvi – Extinct. In Fact, I Strongly Recommend NOT to watch the MOVIE even in pirated VCD/DVD/Websites.
 
Overall rating – 0/5  … A STAR STUDDED FLOP! GAME OFF!!